Pen and Paper

We carry notebooks with us

As a place to drop the pain

We carry notebooks with us

As a reminder it will be okay

We carry paper

So the pain has a place to go

We carry paper

So we don’t have to fight with our ghosts.


We carry pens

So we can let it out

We carry pens

So we don’t have to drown.


We write

To put out the fire

We write

To stay alive…




How do you escape a world you’ve created?
where monsters were your own thoughts,
where pain is your own emotions,
and you’re constantly drowning with your frustrations…
drowning—drowning but you couldn’t die…

Your dreams and goals suffocate you,
tightening around your throat…
covering you mouth…
but you can breathe…
You can breathe–but you hope you couldn’t…

A Dose of Dopamine

“have you ever cried just because you want to be more…to do more…to have more…you’ve set your happiness standard far too high and now, not even ‘you’ could reach it… no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, everything’s just not enough. you’ve drowned yourself into unworthiness, frustrations and disappointments…and everyday you’re struggling to keep afloat… always waiting for your break…always waiting for your moment…just waiting for that dopamine rush to keep you going again…”

The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy 1

1. The Compound Effect in Action 
The first chapter is about how people craves instant gratification. There are analogies that were used in the book that are really striking:
a. lottery – We  only hear one story about people winning lotteries, what we doesn’t hear and what we doesn’t realize is that there are million of stories of losers. Here comes the negative power of positive thinking. People would like to rely purely on luck with all the optimism they had without realizing that there’s almost a zero chance on that. The most certain way to attain something is not by waiting for it to happen, it is by making it happen. It is by doing everything that you can and even doing things you thought you can’t. For success not to be short-lived, gambling shouldn’t steer your life.
b. magic penny – If we are going to have a choice between taking 3 million pesos and a single penny that doubles its value every day for a month; most likely, people would choose the instant cash; because they don’t want to go through the agonizing wait for the whole month for the payoff. People are usually blinded by that–the instant reward, the fulfillment right now, what we don’t tend to realize is that the second choice will actually be more than 3 times the 3 million you would have chosen. Likewise, “…small, seemingly insignificant steps completed consistently over time will create a radical difference…”
Quote of the day:
“It doesn’t matter how smart you are or aren’t, you need to make up in hardwork what you lack in experience, skill, intelligence, or innate ability. If your competitor is smarter, more talented, or experienced, you just need to work three or four times as hard. You can still beat them.”
2. Choices
“The life we end up with is simply an accumulation of all the choices we make.”
“It is time to wake up and make empowering choices.”
“If I always took 100% responsibility for everything I experienced — completely owning all of my choices and all the ways I responded to whatever happened to me — I held the power. Everything was up to me. I was responsible for everything I did, didn’t do or how I responded to what was done to me.”
“I had the unlimited power to control my destiny.”
“You cannot see what you don’t look for, and you cannot look for what you believe in.”

The Redeemer

Life was a blank piece of parchment,

Till God reached out for the quill in the pavement.

He wrote our story with meticulous statements,

So good of him for a bunch of wonderful moments.

God adds more color in it for more excitement,

He let gaunt stuff engulf us for a moment,

And see if we’ll still hang on to him while we lament,

He’ll never ever leave in every predicament…

As our story unfolds quickly,

God made it more quirky,

All these–made it definitely hazy,

But that’s how he would know if we’re flimsy.

He then stopped for a while,

Let the blank ink blot in the white…

Let the crimson blood drop with a sigh;

But certainly joins us whenever we cry.

As soon as he sees, we seem to be lost,

In a desert, feeling so cross,

He’ll let us drink the entire oasis for no cost,

And pull us out of that hell, in a coin’s toss.

As soon as we proved our faith was strong enough,

He’ll give us the quill without a bluff,

The pen of life will soon lie on our palm,

To write our own ending in sync with God’s Psalm.



Debris of the crumbled columns were everywhere…the pieces of a once beautiful edifice lie on the ground…Despite the wreckage, it’s evident that the architecture of the structures that once stood there were astounding. Glints of gold shine among the wreck as the sun’s rays strike them… There’s no chaos more beautiful than this one. The perfect ratios, the symmetry, the stability, the magnificence, the grandness, the foundation—nobody would have imagined such perfection to sink into oblivion. Dust and smoke filled the air…exaggerating the havoc. An acrid smell hung loosely in the air—burnt flesh…blood…the putrefying smell of death itself… It might have been Rome…the ruins of a rich empire makes it look like Rome…

From a distance, you’ll see a shadow…You’d need to squint to be able to see—a slow-moving-figure engulfed in smoke and dust and soot. Everything else is lifeless…and the moving figure looks just as lifeless as everything else…almost like an apparition…a mirage…but IT is alive. (it’s more appropriate to use IT instead of he/she because IT looks more like a pair of clothes dancing through the breeze than a human being). The shadow took numerous steps…even from a distance they seemed agonizing…The shadow endured them…nonetheless… IT might have been a Roman…the bravery and strength and will of Romans throughout the history and stories and myths makes IT look like a Roman…

There were guttural cries echoing…exasperating sighs filling the voidness…sounds of small stones crushing beneath someone’s feet—the only signs of life from IT…The figure got closer…walking away from the chaos. Alas! IT is a girl!!! She might have been a Gladiator…no, she doesn’t have the armor, or the shield, or the sword, or anything else…she doesn’t even have the energy to walk and it’s a miracle how she mustered to take those steps…She’s a walking-bruises-and-wounds…each one looks more painful than the other. Still, I can tell…she is a gladiator…a champion of her people…a champion in her own little ways…

As soon as she left that beautiful mess where she was found…she started to blend in. There is indeed something beautiful that can spring from the ruins…In her own little actions, she never lose the ‘Gladiator’ blood in her veins…She doesn’t need a colosseum…or a skilled warrior and killer as her opponent…or the roaring cheer of heartless people…She only needs her animal-like fighting spirit…She’s a predator refusing to be a prey… She’s a prey acting like a predator…

Her life is a long, unending combat…She emerges from her daily battles wounded but never defeated…She made a mental list of all her plans and dreams—all of which has a corresponding fight she has to win…all of which is a level higher and harder than the previous one…But, she’s a Gladiator…she’d rather get killed fighting…than doing nothing at all…She’d rather be the ‘show’, rather than sitting and sinking and blending with the crowd to just watch it. She became obsessed of it—not the battles…but the victories…She wanted more…she couldn’t stop now…not ever.

She has to tackle the drudgeries single-handedly and throw them to the ground like a weightless rag doll. She has to dodge the blows and strike the unseen opponent…She gets thrown to the ground so many times…and getting up is always harder than the last one… But she is a Gladiator. She’ll keep on standing up even if she’s getting beaten up to a pulp…

Sometimes, it gets to her…You know, a life-long combat is exhausting even for a fighter…even if she happened to defeat her opponent today…it will resurface again tomorrow. How can you fight an immortal?— a darkness that never dies…a negativity that never leaves… She’s unstoppable though…She’s addicted to victories that even when she can no longer think straight, it fills her brains…She’s restless…She’s fixated on attaining her next dreams…

She took off her helmet, she removed her armour, she threw her shield down, she put down her sword…She stood on the battlefield as bare and as bold as she could ever be…she exposed her vulnerability…her flesh inviting arrows and blows…She’s fearless…or that’s what she wants people to see her at least…She held her head up, just like what a warrior should…

She bolted…she ran towards the enemy as she pretended that she’s not shaking in fear…exhausted beyond words…She ran faster…and she pretended that there’s nothing within her but that animal fighting spirit…She ran faster—faster than she ever had—towards her enemy…and before the collision, she shouted…no, scratch that, “I”…I shouted… I AM A GLADIATOR…I AM ‘THAT’ GLADIATOR…from the ruins… and into the ruins… and the ruin itself…I AM HER.


Clear Out

Written by Carol J Forrester

I’ve been decluttering my heart recently, prising open the hidden parts I’d forgotten existed. But inside there are faces I don’t want to look at again. Over the years they have changed, lost any softness they once held, become darker, gaunter, crueler now the games have stopped. They are the ones I couldn’t let go of. Tucked away in secret spaces, their claws dug in too deep for me to do anything but move them around like knick-knacks, from the window, to the dresser, to the cupboard under the stairs. They have gathered dust but never left. Now when I look, I see they have shrunk in size and their talons don’t hold the same grip. They are easier to peel away, like plasters left on past a scar healing. They simply fall off, used and worn out.

Enigmatic Fragments

Unfinished sentences…thoughtless phrases…the use of three dots instead of a period—I’m obsessed with them. Somehow, I feel as if by using them, the pieces I write wouldn’t just express my words…I feel as if by using them, the pieces I write would become a complete reflection of who I ama human comprised of numerous fragments painstakingly arranged to make sense…

I am composed of unfinished sentences…with missing words and missing ideas, misplaced modifiers and hazy subject—all making ‘me’ hard to fathom…

I am composed of thoughtless phrases…one after another…swarming with adjectives—hoping that they would suffice to paint a vivid scene despite the incompleteness…

I refuse to be a finished sentence…I insist to be deciphered…

The pieces—no matter how incoherent they seem…they would eventually make sense. There will always be order amidst the chaos…like one single mosaic piece could finish a masterpiece…Sometimes what you thought of as futile really isn’t…

I am composed of hints and clues…I renounce to be solved just by anyone…

I am a puzzle…with all its meaningless, imperfect, weird-shaped pieces…

I am an enigma…I am not supposed to make sense to anyone…

I am a fragment…I am not supposed to be complete…

Believe in Yourself

There is no law by which you can achieve success in anything without expecting it, demanding it, assuming it. There must be a strong, firm self-faith first, or the thing will never come. There  is no room for chance in God’s world of system and supreme order. Everything must have not only a cause-but a sufficient cause-a cause as large as the result. A stream cannot rise higher than its source. A great success must have a great source in expectation, in self-confidence, and in persistent endeavor to attain it. No matter how great the ability, how large the genius or how splendid the education, the achievement will never rise higher than the confidence. He can who thinks he can, and he can’t who thinks he can’t. This is an inexorable, indisputable law.

It does not matter what other people think of you, of your plans or of your aims. No matter if they call you a visionary, a crank, or a dreamer; you must believe in yourself. You forsake yourself when you lose your confidence. Never allow anybody or any misfortune to shake your belief in yourself.

-excerpt from Successful Achievement

Education: Most important Rung in the Ladder of Success

It is not absolutely necessary for education to be crowded into a few years of school life. The best educated people are those who are always learning…always absorbing knowledge from every possible source and at every opportunity. Knowledge is not only acquired through books, mind-boggling formulas, non-stop memorization and brain twisting tests. There are some lessons that we’ll only learn as we go through life. We’ll meet various people who can inspire us to become a better person; who’ll teach us directly and indirectly how to overcome challenges, how to face troubles, how to grow and how to be matured. These people can influence us to achieve much more than what we thought we can. Everyday gives us many lessons in life… Every though leaves an impression on our minds… Every feeling weaves a garment for the spirit… Every passion plows a furrow in our souls. It is our duty as moral beings to guide and direct those thoughts , feelings and passions so that they shall educate us in the right direction. With disoriented mental faculties, a person will be a ship without a helm, dashed on bars and rocks at the will of the wind and waves.

In this age of the world, education must be the underlying foundation for the future success of either a young man or woman. We should determine that no sacrifice is too great, no struggle is too hard in obtaining a thorough education. It is the most powerful weapon which we can use to change the entire world by starting to change ourselves. Let the new seeds grown in us, because new fruits will nourish us into maturity.

By gaining education, we shall have our reward in the rich stores of knowledge we have thus collected and which shall ever be at our command…more valuable than material treasures. While fleets may sink, buildings become consumed and richness fade; the intellectual stores we have gathered will be permanent and enduring. How wise then, to secure, as far as possible, a complete and lasting education.