Clear Out

Written by Carol J Forrester

I’ve been decluttering my heart recently, prising open the hidden parts I’d forgotten existed. But inside there are faces I don’t want to look at again. Over the years they have changed, lost any softness they once held, become darker, gaunter, crueler now the games have stopped. They are the ones I couldn’t let go of. Tucked away in secret spaces, their claws dug in too deep for me to do anything but move them around like knick-knacks, from the window, to the dresser, to the cupboard under the stairs. They have gathered dust but never left. Now when I look, I see they have shrunk in size and their talons don’t hold the same grip. They are easier to peel away, like plasters left on past a scar healing. They simply fall off, used and worn out.

How do you escape from feelings that consume you?

Sometimes I wonder how my heart could keep up with all the emotions I feel all at once…with all the feelings surging through me…
I wonder how i could manage to endure the intensity of each…the extremity…
One heartbeat it was all exhilarating feeling, and then on the next it was a complete melancholy…it was different on every beat and it was intense every time…
Everything is a climax… every moment is a peak… every action has an automatic reaction… and it exhausts the hell out of me…

How do you escape from feelings that consume you?