frivolity

tonight, she climbed atop the rooftop just like she always does…
she loves the wind, the thrill, the heights. it made her look fearless when she’s actually the exact opposite. she’s trembling inside. she fears this exact moment… she’s afraid of herself… she’s afraid of how crazy she could become.
looking over the city made her feel things–like how insignificant she is in this vast and wide universe and that she could drop dead that instant and nobody would even notice. the world will keep on going and everyone else will get on with their lives. everybody hates her. everybody leaves her. and it has already got into her nerves, you know, all the leaving… so this time she wanted to be sure no one’s going to leave her behind. not again. not ever. she felt empty. everything inside her is just so hollow. she suddenly had the urge to fly, and being the impulsive little bitch that she is, she did.

and she was right. nobody even noticed. the night went back to being dark and silent. and eveything that she was… everything that she is…everything that she will ever be… everything got reduced to a single thud, a ton of blood and a week of gossip. she didn’t know that even after death, she’d still get less than what she deserves.

Just Another Wasted Time

It’s hard to like someone who’s not even sure if he likes you…I liked you anyway.

It’s hard to go out with someone when you know he’s going out with someone else too…I went out with you anyway.

It’s hard to give someone a chance when he never explicitly asked for it…I gave chances to you anyway.

But it’s even harder to ask you not to leave when you never even stayed in the first place…

It’s even harder to bid goodbye when I never even had you…

How can I say goodbye? How am I going to end something that hasn’t even started yet?

So I think this is it then…

You’re now going to be ‘Just another guy’…

‘Just another page’ on my journal…

‘Just another dream’ I should wake up from….

‘Just another wasted time…’

Lines that weren’t meant to intersect

Tonight…we can’t stop thinking about each other…it could have been a sweet moment…except that:

I…I’m thinking of how I want to start things with you…

and you…you’re thinking of a way out coz you no longer want me…

and I’m not sure where it went wrong?

Is it on me? for making up my mind too late…

or Is it on you? for giving me hints too early…

 

-AA