I can’t thank you enough… (Journal Entry #005)

You are the one that my soul has been searching for so long and finding you has finally completed me. I am beyond grateful to you, for unconditionally and constantly showering me with happiness and love. For all the sweet things you’ve done and continuously do, Thank you!

For bombarding me with calls to wake me up every single morning…For buying me breakfast whenever I haven’t eaten yet…For texting me throughout the day no matter how busy you are…For checking up on me whenever I am on site…For bringing me water right into my table as I finish my inspections…For cooking food for me and eating lunch with me…For bringing site clothes that I can change into whenever I’m drenched with sweat…For always completing my day just because you were seated behind me…For taking me home every single night no matter how late it already is…For taking me out on dinners and dates…For making me feel that I matter…For telling me all your secrets…For hugging me whenever I feel sad…For accompanying me wherever I wanted to go…For supporting me with my dreams…For holding my hand in front of anyone…For introducing me to your family…For taking the dangerous side when we’re walking on the streets…For the endless assurance that there’s no one else but me…For bringing me to the hospital when I wasn’t feeling well and waiting for me to be discharged until past midnight…For always putting me first…For waiting on our lobby until twilight whenever we have a huge fight…For chasing me whenever I walk out…For fighting for me when we were about to break up…For always holding me tight when I’m about to let go…For staying with me no matter how hard I am to handle…For loving me despite my imperfections. For being so sweet, generous, caring, loving… For being sooooo close to “perfect”. For being YOU. THANK YOU. And Iloveyou.

I will never, ever find anyone else like you and I’m so grateful and lucky to have finally met my soulmate. You are my prayer and my dream. And I promise to love you exactly the way you love me. Iloveyou and I will never, ever look for anyone else apart from you…I will never love anyone else… You are my sun and my stars and my moon and you are the only light I need to shine through me. Iloveyou and I promise I will stay no matter how tough things may get. I will stay and I will never leave you. You are my present and my future and I really want to grow old with you. We will stay together, we will endure any hardships together…Iloveyou today and everyday for the rest of my life. Iloveyou

Spontaneity at its best (Journal Entry #001)

So yesterday, I was on my way to a training… Getting up was harder than usual that morning and I don’t know – there’s this heavy feeling all of a sudden. I told myself, “Fuck it! I’m ditching this… this day is mine and I’m gonna live it the way I want to… I’m going to break the boring cycle today and I’ll just do as I please.” and so I did. I was off to my own little adventures. I randomly rode some train and randomly got off as well. It’s nice to be lost…with nothing but the maps-app on my phone…I just walked aimlessly and went where my feet would take me…

My first stop was at a random church. I felt the need to reconnect with God, somehow I feel that I’m starting to drift away. I went in, hoping that doing so would bring me closer to him… I poured my heart out, clasped both my hands and kneeled in prayer. I told him all my woes and worries, all my hopes and dreams… and asked him for guidance. I left… only to find myself again on another church – my next stop: San Sebastian. I did the same… I talked to him like I’ve never talked to him before… I prayed and prayed to pass the UPLAE. I stayed there for quite some time…meditating while admiring the interiors of the place… and then, off I went… to the place I intend to go to that very morning: Manila City Hall Regional Trial Court. You know how inclined I am at the moment, in Law… and my adventures wouldn’t be complete without visiting something related to it… I sauntered the hallways, looked at every rooms corresponding the different RTC branches. Trial rooms were locked. I interviewed staffs and found out that hearings usually took place during mornings. Mission Failed! I haven’t witnessed one. What I was hoping for was that I’d be inside the courtroom. Well, enough with frustrations. You know me enough…I wouldn’t stop there. I searched the location of Court of Appeals and again… I’m off. However, I got a bit distracted. I saw a sign pointing towards National Planetarium and just like that, I went in. I paid, registered and settled myself on a seat while waiting for the dome show to begin… and well, I was so glad I stumbled to that place… As soon as the show began, I couldn’t contain my joy. A kid in me was unleashed and I gaped at the dome with all enthusiasm. It was so relaxing…as if I’m really staring into a cloudless night – but even better… and as the billion stars twinkle right above me – even though they’re just projections – I wished on the brightest of them… wished for me to be admitted at UP Law. I wished and prayed so hard – that the stars twinkle even more through my tears. After the show, I hurried to the Court of Appeals…I’ve entered various rooms, telling staffs my intention, looking for someone that would let me sit-in amidst a hearing. Sadly, just like at the RTC, there’s no more hearings to listen to for the day. Still, they gave me the schedule of the cases on the courtroom for the next 2 months. I left… but only to seek for something better : Supreme Court. At the lobby, there were reporters…something’s happening at the Session Hall. I went to the Clerk of Courts and clarified my intentions. I was very lucky a staff gave me a ticket so I can get admitted to the Session Hall. I knew I was meant to be here… There’ a reason! This is it! I’m going to witness judges and attorneys in action. I was smiling goofily, it won’t subside. I smiled even wider as I settled on the seat inside. My heart’s jumping for joy…This is the exact feeling you get when you finally found your one true love. I tried to focus  and tried stopping my mind from stirring any more thoughts. I listened intently to the oral arguments… I was amazed how eloquent they were… how sharp their minds are to be able to memorize all those laws… how firm they are on their beliefs — all traits I do not have. I envy them… their words, their sharpness, their intellect… they’re hypnotizing to watch. Deep inside me, there’s a voice…loud cries… “I want to be just like them.” I sat for hours listening to the exchange of words and the battle of their minds… The session ended but even until I got home, I’m holding a dream in my heart… a dream that’s burning with my passion… I’ve been motivated beyond words…

And someday, I will look back at this day and I will remember how this particular day ignited my love for law… how I realized being a lawyer wasn’t just my childhood dream…how I felt I was born to be in this field. Someday, I’m not just going to be an architect and a master plumber… I am going to be a lawyer… and more… More titles, more achievements… Because I wasn’t born to settle with the mediocre. I was born to soar high… I am going to be everything I ever wanted to be… There’s no  limit to what I can do and what I can attain… 

Later that night, I remembered all my perfect and almost perfect examinations during college at taxation, constitution and other subjects relating to law… And so I decided to talk to my former professor… He’s already a lawyer and I was his favorite… he always referred to me as one of the best student he ever had throughout his teaching career. When he heard about my visit to the Supreme Court and how much I’m aching to pursue this career, he was so enthusiastic. He assured me I will pass the admission test and told me something I’d never forget – “Law School is waiting for you.”

(it’s been months since I wrote this, but I retyped this just to make sure that I am not forgetting all my sentiments that day… I’d like to remind myself of my one true love… and one day, when I already have the resources, I will make this dream come true)

Your Definite Chief Aim in Life

A definite purpose is like a barrel of a rifle, which gives aim and direction to the bullet. Without this barrier to concentrate the expanding power in the cartridge, it would simply flash without moving the bullet. How many miserable failure, might have been a great triumph; how many dwarfs might have been giants; how many a “mute inglorious Milton” has died with all his music in him…

There is no grander sight in the world than that of a young man fired with a great purpose, dominated by one unwavering aim. He is bound to win; the world stands to one side and lets him pass; it always makes way for the man with a will in him.

-excerpt from Successful Achievement

Believe in Yourself

There is no law by which you can achieve success in anything without expecting it, demanding it, assuming it. There must be a strong, firm self-faith first, or the thing will never come. There  is no room for chance in God’s world of system and supreme order. Everything must have not only a cause-but a sufficient cause-a cause as large as the result. A stream cannot rise higher than its source. A great success must have a great source in expectation, in self-confidence, and in persistent endeavor to attain it. No matter how great the ability, how large the genius or how splendid the education, the achievement will never rise higher than the confidence. He can who thinks he can, and he can’t who thinks he can’t. This is an inexorable, indisputable law.

It does not matter what other people think of you, of your plans or of your aims. No matter if they call you a visionary, a crank, or a dreamer; you must believe in yourself. You forsake yourself when you lose your confidence. Never allow anybody or any misfortune to shake your belief in yourself.

-excerpt from Successful Achievement