A seed I’ve planted has grown…

‘Is today a good day to die?’ Everyone will be just fine…I don’t have much impact on anyone and the world will be just the same…I think I’ve lived long enough…23-years is long enough already, I guess. Waking up has already been hard…falling asleep, harder…Days are already dragging…and time seems too slow…I can’t wait for that day…to finally end it…one less soul won’t make a difference…everything will stay the same…I know…I’m certain…

I want to be selfish…for one last time…just like what I’ve always been.

I want to be carefree and succumb to this frivolity…and end up with another stupid decision…just like what I’ve always done.

…Just the thought of it–is liberating already…to cheat life…and to escape the maze…and to finally find my way out–an easier path!

The thought is like poison…spreading like wild fire…infecting every vein…every flesh…every inch of me…up to the very core of my being. I can’t seem to shake the thought off…It’s been a part of me…the dark side…the concealed piece…

Even on good days, the thought lingers…it lurks nearby. I couldn’t even think of a credible reason why I might do this…Does that make me insane? Well maybe I am. I no longer know the reason, all I know is that there had been reasons…it piled up one after the other…until I can no longer grasp the rationality of this thought…until I can no longer recall why I had to imbue this idea on my mind…I can no longer remember what pained me so much…what scarred me too deep…what made me irreparable…

Now I had to tick off one last item on my bucketlist…

The grandest one so far…

The end is near…

2 thoughts on “A seed I’ve planted has grown…

  1. whoah this weblog is wonderful i really like reading your articles. Stay up the good work! You understand, many individuals are hunting around for this info, you can aid them greatly.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for the compliment! Now that I found out that someone has actually appreciated my work, i will definitely post more articles in the future! Thanks

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s