A Living Paradox

I want to be untouchably beautiful but I also don’t want to care about how I look.

I want to be the top of my class but I also just want to do as best as I can without driving myself to the edge.

I want to be floating and ethereal but I want to be solid and dangerous.

…a mystery that’s open to anybody…

…a romantic that never falls in love…

…the bird and the cat both…

-inkskinned

Enigmatic Fragments

Unfinished sentences…thoughtless phrases…the use of three dots instead of a period—I’m obsessed with them. Somehow, I feel as if by using them, the pieces I write wouldn’t just express my words…I feel as if by using them, the pieces I write would become a complete reflection of who I ama human comprised of numerous fragments painstakingly arranged to make sense…

I am composed of unfinished sentences…with missing words and missing ideas, misplaced modifiers and hazy subject—all making ‘me’ hard to fathom…

I am composed of thoughtless phrases…one after another…swarming with adjectives—hoping that they would suffice to paint a vivid scene despite the incompleteness…

I refuse to be a finished sentence…I insist to be deciphered…

The pieces—no matter how incoherent they seem…they would eventually make sense. There will always be order amidst the chaos…like one single mosaic piece could finish a masterpiece…Sometimes what you thought of as futile really isn’t…

I am composed of hints and clues…I renounce to be solved just by anyone…

I am a puzzle…with all its meaningless, imperfect, weird-shaped pieces…

I am an enigma…I am not supposed to make sense to anyone…

I am a fragment…I am not supposed to be complete…

fall in love with poets, artists, musicians…with their queer reality,with their eyes—that see the unusual… rare…the beauty in everything.

with their hands that are capable of such complex, out-of-the-ordinary, unsettling art.

with their curious minds that notice the unnoticed, and leave you in a daze…and you smile every time because their mind is so much more beautiful than all the poetry you have ever read.

with their hearts that wanders off, in the most unpredictable of ways… and you just stare because their eyes glitter like little bulbs in the sky and you would anything to see them shimmer like that.

with their dreams and know what they really fantasize about.

fall in love with their art, that speaks what not everyone can hear.

and fall in love with all of their words, and their silence, and fall in love with them as a whole,

and be true.

for when you wonder what they think about you,

look at them

and they will smile at you with their eyes.

and they will create for you a vivid, many-hued picture when you are surrounded by black and white

and they will write you down, and play you songs.

in the most beautiful of ways.

that maybe

someday

luckily

you will fall in love

with yourself.

-wordsnquotesreblog

Your Definite Chief Aim in Life

A definite purpose is like a barrel of a rifle, which gives aim and direction to the bullet. Without this barrier to concentrate the expanding power in the cartridge, it would simply flash without moving the bullet. How many miserable failure, might have been a great triumph; how many dwarfs might have been giants; how many a “mute inglorious Milton” has died with all his music in him…

There is no grander sight in the world than that of a young man fired with a great purpose, dominated by one unwavering aim. He is bound to win; the world stands to one side and lets him pass; it always makes way for the man with a will in him.

-excerpt from Successful Achievement

Believe in Yourself

There is no law by which you can achieve success in anything without expecting it, demanding it, assuming it. There must be a strong, firm self-faith first, or the thing will never come. There  is no room for chance in God’s world of system and supreme order. Everything must have not only a cause-but a sufficient cause-a cause as large as the result. A stream cannot rise higher than its source. A great success must have a great source in expectation, in self-confidence, and in persistent endeavor to attain it. No matter how great the ability, how large the genius or how splendid the education, the achievement will never rise higher than the confidence. He can who thinks he can, and he can’t who thinks he can’t. This is an inexorable, indisputable law.

It does not matter what other people think of you, of your plans or of your aims. No matter if they call you a visionary, a crank, or a dreamer; you must believe in yourself. You forsake yourself when you lose your confidence. Never allow anybody or any misfortune to shake your belief in yourself.

-excerpt from Successful Achievement

Just Another Wasted Time

It’s hard to like someone who’s not even sure if he likes you…I liked you anyway.

It’s hard to go out with someone when you know he’s going out with someone else too…I went out with you anyway.

It’s hard to give someone a chance when he never explicitly asked for it…I gave chances to you anyway.

But it’s even harder to ask you not to leave when you never even stayed in the first place…

It’s even harder to bid goodbye when I never even had you…

How can I say goodbye? How am I going to end something that hasn’t even started yet?

So I think this is it then…

You’re now going to be ‘Just another guy’…

‘Just another page’ on my journal…

‘Just another dream’ I should wake up from….

‘Just another wasted time…’

Back to Eden

Progress in technology is now making rapid strides. It is advancing at a terrific rate; numerous inventions and innovations are being discovered in a wink! As the whole world focuses on such achievements and savor the comfort of the modern world; mother nature seems to be the only one who suffers…it seems as if she fell to sink into oblivion–suddenly forgotten and left behind.

In face of the growing destruction of the world due to man’s hunger for power and addiction to innovations; still it seems as if nobody cares at all. The condition of the entire world is now on its alarming level: severe droughts, disastrous hurricanes, intermittent heat waves, widespread crop failures, devastating floods and violent storms–and yet only a few strives to help.

God has bestowed men a very special gift–Eden–our home..a gift he entrusted to us…a gift worth giving all our attention to…But what is it we’re doing in return? Ruining it…destroying it…killing it! Is that how we’ll express our gratitude? Such a blasphemy!

The right time has come; we must awaken our enfeebling minds…Why not open our eyes and see the immeasurable destruction we’ve made. It’s getting late…we must make a move now! Not just plan, but act! Let’s not wait for another day to come…we must act now and appease our angry benefactor!

We don’t need much effort, we can start on our little ways–Conserve–that’s the best thing to do. Together, let’s bring back the Garden of Eden…our paradise! It won’t take long, it surely won’t…as long as we’re all together…helping hands…aiding nature on the best way we can…heeding the cry of Mother Earth…advocating the best thing to be done for her sake.

Service–that’s the former Green Kingdom needs! Service–that’s the rent we needed to pay for our room on Earth. Act now, because we’ll never know when, we, human beings ourselves will cease to exist…when there’s nothing more to be done but to lurk on one corner and watch the darkness engulf the world…when all of us are buried and relegated to the sandbox of regret…and wiped out from the face of the Earth.

Education: Most important Rung in the Ladder of Success

It is not absolutely necessary for education to be crowded into a few years of school life. The best educated people are those who are always learning…always absorbing knowledge from every possible source and at every opportunity. Knowledge is not only acquired through books, mind-boggling formulas, non-stop memorization and brain twisting tests. There are some lessons that we’ll only learn as we go through life. We’ll meet various people who can inspire us to become a better person; who’ll teach us directly and indirectly how to overcome challenges, how to face troubles, how to grow and how to be matured. These people can influence us to achieve much more than what we thought we can. Everyday gives us many lessons in life… Every though leaves an impression on our minds… Every feeling weaves a garment for the spirit… Every passion plows a furrow in our souls. It is our duty as moral beings to guide and direct those thoughts , feelings and passions so that they shall educate us in the right direction. With disoriented mental faculties, a person will be a ship without a helm, dashed on bars and rocks at the will of the wind and waves.

In this age of the world, education must be the underlying foundation for the future success of either a young man or woman. We should determine that no sacrifice is too great, no struggle is too hard in obtaining a thorough education. It is the most powerful weapon which we can use to change the entire world by starting to change ourselves. Let the new seeds grown in us, because new fruits will nourish us into maturity.

By gaining education, we shall have our reward in the rich stores of knowledge we have thus collected and which shall ever be at our command…more valuable than material treasures. While fleets may sink, buildings become consumed and richness fade; the intellectual stores we have gathered will be permanent and enduring. How wise then, to secure, as far as possible, a complete and lasting education.

Reading–Food for the Brain

“Reading maketh a full man” – Bacon

Reading is one of the best ways in order to gain vast knowledge pertaining to almost everything in this universe. The greatest minds that ever existed, engaged themselves mostly in reading. Learning isn’t merely acquired within the walls of schools, colleges and universities; every one of us can be a mentor of ourselves by pondering the wisdom crowded into books.

The only way to evade from hunger is through stuffing your mouth with food; likewise, the only way to elude ignorance is through stuffing your brain with nourishment you’ll only acquire through reading. It isn’t just for the sake of knowledge. It is also one of the best recreations one could have during their leisure time. A good book is a definite solace. It has the power to lift the poor out of poverty, the wretched out of his misery, to make the burden-bearer forget his burden, the sick his sufferings and sorrowing his grief. It could be an escape from the most discouraging and distressing surroundings…even for a moment, you could find yourself lost in the realm of its wisdom…You could transcend generations, travel through time, read minds, be another person, enter a new dimension…It’s an escape…fleeting…temporary…but worth it.

Consequences

Love is like a lightning,

It could be so much disparaging,

Once it was meant to struck on you,

There’s no other way to go to.

It’s impossible to get away from it,

No way to elude its mighty hit.

It would send you a surge of heat,

That will leave you black-butted from head-to-feet.

The glow you’ve thought of as a falling star,

Will smash your wish and is somewhat fatal…

Love is like a lightning,

That lurks everywhere even in bright morning:

Ready to await its next victim,

Someone to leave, shattered and bleeding,

So prepare yourself to the tears and pain,

Because in the word ‘love’ they’re always chained.

-AA

A seed I’ve planted has grown…

‘Is today a good day to die?’ Everyone will be just fine…I don’t have much impact on anyone and the world will be just the same…I think I’ve lived long enough…23-years is long enough already, I guess. Waking up has already been hard…falling asleep, harder…Days are already dragging…and time seems too slow…I can’t wait for that day…to finally end it…one less soul won’t make a difference…everything will stay the same…I know…I’m certain…

I want to be selfish…for one last time…just like what I’ve always been.

I want to be carefree and succumb to this frivolity…and end up with another stupid decision…just like what I’ve always done.

…Just the thought of it–is liberating already…to cheat life…and to escape the maze…and to finally find my way out–an easier path!

The thought is like poison…spreading like wild fire…infecting every vein…every flesh…every inch of me…up to the very core of my being. I can’t seem to shake the thought off…It’s been a part of me…the dark side…the concealed piece…

Even on good days, the thought lingers…it lurks nearby. I couldn’t even think of a credible reason why I might do this…Does that make me insane? Well maybe I am. I no longer know the reason, all I know is that there had been reasons…it piled up one after the other…until I can no longer grasp the rationality of this thought…until I can no longer recall why I had to imbue this idea on my mind…I can no longer remember what pained me so much…what scarred me too deep…what made me irreparable…

Now I had to tick off one last item on my bucketlist…

The grandest one so far…

The end is near…

There’s nothing sexier than a Brilliant Mind

I’ve never had an orgasm my whole life…

but upon reading your superb blogs,

It’s like I’ve just had my first one!

God! how your words flirted with me…

how your ideas made its way to every bend and every turn of my brain…and remained there…

how your emotions influenced mine and made me feel a hundred feelings all at once…

your wisdom surged through me…it sent chills up my spine…it has given me goosebumps…

your words drove me crazy…I can’t get enough of them…and you–

hanging…like a dangling participle

you could have told me you don’t want to talk…I would never force you to…

you could have told me you’re busy…I would have gotten you off the hook…

you could have told me there’s someone else…I would have walked right away…

you could have told me you no longer want me…You won’t even hear anything I’d say…

but you haven’t told me anything…so here I am…

torn—if this is a start or an end…

hovering—over some ‘hellos’ or ‘goodbyes’…

confused—if there’ll ever be an ‘us’…

Lines that weren’t meant to intersect

Tonight…we can’t stop thinking about each other…it could have been a sweet moment…except that:

I…I’m thinking of how I want to start things with you…

and you…you’re thinking of a way out coz you no longer want me…

and I’m not sure where it went wrong?

Is it on me? for making up my mind too late…

or Is it on you? for giving me hints too early…

 

-AA

Drive

I will never be contented with what I know… I will always strive to be more than the usual…I refuse to be just the mediocre…I will always venture on greater feat…I will always try something new…The only thing that’s keeping me sane in this cyclic life is the adventures and challenges I choose to embark on. I don’t want a smooth ride…I want my voyage to be something–peculiar. I have to obsess over something and have it done…That’s what keeps me going…That’s what gives me purpose…

First, an architect, then, a master plumber and now, juris doctor? This might seem as another spontaneous decision of mine…you might think that I haven’t thought this through and I’m being as impulsive as ever…but no! I want it! I’ve stayed up for couple of nights already, obsessing over this thought…The urge to enter law school is too great…It is ingrained in every fiber of my entire being…It is a poison that has already spread all throughout my body… I can no longer escape from the thought of it. A childhood dream resurfaced and now, I could see a vision of me so clearly…I could see a new path stretched ahead of me. Oh how I admire the eloquence and the wisdom of attorneys. I admire them too much, I’m dying to be one of them. I don’t know how I would do this…I don’t even have the resources…but the urge is too great to resist…my brain is shouting deafening and definite conviction to do something about it…I am being a slave of my own thoughts. And somehow, I like it…the idea of myself never settling and always wanting something more…I’ve got all my eyes to nothing but to these next aims…I am going to pass UPLAE and PhilSAT no matter how hard and impossible it seems… I am going to focus on my goals…Never will I fail coz Jesus is with me. The world will stand to one side to let me pass. I will succeed…

Think ‘It’ until you have ‘It’

I’m not going to simply drift with the tide…No matter how exhausting it is, I’ll swim towards the goal I’ve set even if it means I’d have to swim against the current…

No, I won’t just go with the flow…coz only dead fishes do so. I’ll exhaust myself…I’ll give my all…I’m obsessing over my goals…It’s numbing me…I’m fixated on my plans…Nothing could ever stop me from rising where I am…

Next Time and Second Chances

Too many thoughts…Too many books…Too many lessons… Too many people…And you think i’d actually believe that this lifetime is all we’ve got? That there’s nothing more after death? God isn’t that cruel. I’ll have my shot again…after all these… One day…Someday…A new lifetime…minus the harshness…minus the issues…I’ve had enough of those in this life.